Should I See Shades of Grey?

Image by© Tetyana Stakhanova |

The book series 50 Shades of Grey was hugely successful – if you go by the number of books sold. But how do you measure success when it comes to the relational impact of the books? 

Do these stories of sado-masochistic extra-marital sex help those who read them in forming and sustaining healthy long-term relationships – or hurt them?

And now comes the movie version. Should you buy a ticket and fill your mind with the message of Grey? Continue reading Should I See Shades of Grey?

The Beauty of Boundaries

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My personal goal right now is learning how to take better care of myself, self love, as it were. My first step to that is learning to set boundaries. At first I thought setting boundaries meant shutting people out or completely removing people or practices from my life. But while taking to someone about my struggle with this, they suggested I read Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. I’m only two chapters in so far, but it is definitely opening my mind to setting healthy and godly boundaries. Continue reading The Beauty of Boundaries

Drunken Date Rape – TMZ Thinks it’s Funny?

Image by:© Ctacik | – Alcoholic Photo

It was an attention getting conversation for sure. The staff of TMZ (a profane television show) was discussing what kind of alcoholic drinks the ladies on the show ask for when out with a guy.

One of the ladies confided that she just tells her date to “surprise me,” a response that was met with some rather interesting raucous laughter and snide remarks.

The general consensus from the men on the show, and apparently from some of the women as well, was that she should expect to wake up somewhere with her date with no memory of what had happened  – but of course, a lot had happened. Continue reading Drunken Date Rape – TMZ Thinks it’s Funny?

Loneliness and the Value of You

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Loneliness is complex.

Have you ever been in the middle of a big group of people and felt all alone? Probably all of us have. Loneliness is not necessarily a matter of having someone around us – even happily married people sometimes drift apart emotionally and wind up sharing a bed together, yet feel desperately alone.

So when it comes to dealing with loneliness there are no simplistic answers. But probably all of realize there is a danger in being alone. Continue reading Loneliness and the Value of You

The Bikini and the Male Brain

Photo by © Simon Krzic |

Perhaps you’ve seen the video already, if not you can watch it below. But the history lesson of the bikini by designer Jessica Rey has been generating a lot of debate on the merits of the bikini and the need for modesty in general. It would seem that the bikini and the male brain interact in some pretty interesting ways.

Bikini Facts That Will Probably Blow Your Mind

One of the more interesting facts Ms. Rey brings up is on the impact of the bikini (and other immodest clothing) on the male mind. Major studies have shown that when men are shown pictures of scantily clad women that the portion of their brain that thinks about tools and other “things” lights up while the medial prefrontal cortex in many men shuts down. Continue reading The Bikini and the Male Brain

Sex and fun and pleasure?

“College is the time when everyone experiences those things such as sex and fun and pleasure. In those years I’ve had to rot in loneliness, it’s not fair.” (Day of Retribution, Elliot Rodger, Video)

The nation may have been shocked by the killings, but the thoughts Elliot Rodger expressed in video are mainstream. The views he held are held and even taught by many – that college is the time when we start using others to experience pleasure for ourselves. Sex is nothing more than a basic physiological need and it is no big deal to hook up with someone sexually to get that need met. Continue reading Sex and fun and pleasure?

To the Pretty Girl Seeking Rich Husband – A Compassionate Response

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Many of you have already read the post on social media regarding the 25 year old “Ms. Pretty” who was seeking a rich husband, and the response by the CEO of J.P. Morgan.

Although a lot of people apparently enjoyed the banker putting the young lady “in her place,” but I was saddened by the whole affair. I would like to offer a more compassionate response.

Ms. Pretty is a Product of Our Society


Ms. Pretty seeking rich husband is physically attractive, but she is far more than that.

Think about it. We live in a society where appearance is supreme. Our media continually parades women in front of our eyes wearing very little clothing and most of those on parade are  stunningly pretty. A young person, such as Ms. Pretty, was raised in this meat market type of environment – and while her request for a husband who makes at least $500,000 a year in exchange for her good looks and the use of her body might seem a bit cold and calculating – in truth it is not. Continue reading To the Pretty Girl Seeking Rich Husband – A Compassionate Response

Cameron Diaz: Everybody Has Been Cheated On?

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As another “successful” Hollywood high-profile marriage bites the dust, that being between the beautiful Gwyneth Paltrow and talented performer Chris Martin, Cameron Diaz once again shares her dubious wisdom for her own philosophy of glamorized failure:

“At some point in your life everybody has been cheated on,” she said. “I’m not saying that the relationship you’re in currently, you’re going to get cheated on, but eventually or maybe in the past it’s happened.” Continue reading Cameron Diaz: Everybody Has Been Cheated On?

The Compatibility Myth – Part 1

It happens every day – people fall in love with someone , gushing over how this is the perfect person. They are so compatible – so this relationship is just meant to be. The assumption is that this present compatibility will always continue as it is now, and things will always be wonderful. Promises are made, sincere to be sure, about how he will always love her, and vice versa.

Online dating services promote the idea of compatibility as the basis for a long-term relationship or marriage. You sign on to their website and complete an extensive personality traits test. Then your data is matched up with others who have compatible interests or temperament.  Supposedly this is the guarantee, or at least a high indicator,  of future happiness. Continue reading The Compatibility Myth – Part 1

Too Physical Too Soon? The Dangers of Sex in Dating

The book Jane Eyre has as a central theme a scary mystery. Once the leading character, Jane, meets a man (Rochester) who finally seems to truly care for her – she finds that there is some darkly mysterious and dreadful serious problem which he is hiding in his house. She perceives there is someone there besides her who is involved with this man. And this someone seems terrifying. Continue reading Too Physical Too Soon? The Dangers of Sex in Dating