(Image by © Syda Productions | Dreamstime.com)
As another “successful” Hollywood high-profile marriage bites the dust, that being between the beautiful Gwyneth Paltrow and talented performer Chris Martin, Cameron Diaz once again shares her dubious wisdom for her own philosophy of glamorized failure:
“At some point in your life everybody has been cheated on,” she said. “I’m not saying that the relationship you’re in currently, you’re going to get cheated on, but eventually or maybe in the past it’s happened.”
And what hard evidence does she gleefully base this claim on? Nothing. It’s just another example of someone who holds no one’s opinion higher than their own internal reasoning.
And so she is, by this comment, recommending that we lower our personal expectations and standards and just expect that all of us might as well give in and “cheat” and be cheated on in any relationship. I mean, hey, it’s just natural – right?
Slouching Toward Slutsville
The older definition of the word “slut” meant a woman with a low standard of cleanliness. It seems quite obvious that our friends in the entertainment industry are leading the call for us all to become old-fashioned sluts.
Pursuing emotional and sexual cleanliness is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself and the person you get married to. If you think marriage is outdated (as does Ms. Diaz, see this article hear on Shacking Up, Marriage, or What?) be sure to read the article at the link above to know the consequences you are choosing when you forgo marriage.
Emotional and sexual cleanliness is best referred to as purity. This is not just some religious concept originated to control peoples behavior to an artificial standard. It is what is truly best for all people in the long run. Because of the complex chemical processes that occur during sexual interaction of any type (to include long frontal hugs!) , sexual purity can be one of the greatest enhancements to a long-term faithful relationship ever!
These chemicals, such as oxytocin, dopamine, and vasopressin cause strong bonding, commitment, and even addiction to the other person – which if saved for just one other person (in that old-fashioned Biblical way) makes a relationship more permanent, stable, and joy filled.
In fact, numerous studies bear out the fruit of sexual cleanliness and the exclusivity of partners (that being, one man, one woman, that’s all folks!).
Married folks in monogamous relationships have the highest rates of sexual satisfaction, longest life spans, fewest illnesses, happier children, lower incarceration rates for children, lowest suicide rates, and women such relationships are the most orgasmic compared to unmarried women. Sign me up for that!
Do such long-term married couples deal with cheating? Yes, but it is rare. And it is usually because of a lack of understanding of the nature of sexuality and the way in which we all change as we age. In spite of the fact that every human who lives long enough goes through certain physical/spiritual/emotional/sexual changes during their lives – our society, like Ms. Diaz, thinks it will just naturally figure things out as the go through life. They don’t, and they pay a high price.
This is one of the goals of Love University. We are not here to make money or sell you into some system. We are here to stop the idiotic painful cycle of people hurting each other by doing what is known to fail and cause pain.
Follow Hollywood, or Wisdom?
The marriage of Paltrow and Martin has been celebrated by Hollywood as a great success for more than a decade. They have been interviewed by numerous magazines, internet bloggers, and TV shows as to the “secret” of their relational success.
And people listened.
Now that it is failed, people such as Ms. Diaz are now explaining how even in the failure of keeping their “forever love ” going, that ultimately the Hollywood way is right.
In fact, for those of us who are still successfully married ( for nearly 29 years, in my case) she issues an in-your-face challenge: “You’ve never been cheated on? You’ve never been cheated on ever? Really? Really, nothing? Oh good. Well, guess what? You may not know that you’ve been cheated on.”
What an arrogant insult that is. She just slandered me, my wife, and millions of others who have refused to move to “slut-ville.” She just knows, god-like, that every faithful married person in America has cheated on their partner.
Don’t follow the advice of physically pretty actress. If you follow her advice, you’ll get what she and all of her fellow actors and actresses get – one failed relationship after another along with various diseases to deal with for the rest of your life.
She may be known by millions for her physical beauty – but I’d rather be known truly by one person as a faithful and constant lover. I would rather be a real man than an animal controlled by simple sexual passion.
Follow the wisdom that millions have followed for the ages. The One who Created us male and female and who instituted marriage set clear standards of behavior and actually designed sex not just for fun (although it certainly is that!) but as a kind of chemical/emotional glue to help us stay together for as long as we live.
If you are looking for someone to spend your life with, to love and be loved – start it out right. Take our “Smart Dating Course.” You’ll be glad you did…