Drunken Date Rape – TMZ Thinks it’s Funny?

Image by:© Ctacik | Dreamstime.com – Alcoholic Photo

It was an attention getting conversation for sure. The staff of TMZ (a profane television show) was discussing what kind of alcoholic drinks the ladies on the show ask for when out with a guy.

One of the ladies confided that she just tells her date to “surprise me,” a response that was met with some rather interesting raucous laughter and snide remarks.

The general consensus from the men on the show, and apparently from some of the women as well, was that she should expect to wake up somewhere with her date with no memory of what had happened  – but of course, a lot had happened.

Now mind  you, this was not said in a tone of warning, but with great laughter and enjoyment. You get the impression that the expectation of the men was that any woman who let a man choose her drink should just expect to be raped later – and that was just expected and funny.

Normal behavior from a man on a date.

Nothing wrong, just an expected outcome from trusting a man that took you out.

Really?

Is that what a real man does? Is the purpose of date to use your date for whatever purpose you desire – even if it means drugging or getting her so drunk she doesn’t know what is going on?

And is that what a real man desires on a date? Is any woman who agrees to out with a guy just a sexual thing to be used for his personal gratification?

Given the current climate of sexually transmitted infections in America, and the way in which most of them affect women far more seriously than they do men (due to the design of their reproductive system), could a real man really even entertain this thought of drugged/drunken date rape as something to laugh about?

The staff of TMZ sure got a lot of chuckles out of it.

Shame on them.

The True Beauty of a Woman

I remember the first woman I ever met. It was very unusual circumstances – and I actually don’t remember that first meeting!

You see I was not a planned child – just the natural byproduct (choice) of a husband (my dad) and wife (my mom) having a good time together (or at least one of them, I know my mom says that she was actually asleep when she got pregnant with one of us!) and I found myself in my mother’s womb.

My parents were not at all wealthy, in fact they were struggling financially just like a lot of young couples. It wasn’t a good time for my parents to have a child, but my mother did what most real women do – she chose to do the loving thing and value this child growing in her womb.

While we often note the courage of men who are firemen, police officers, or soldiers – but think for a moment about the average “mom.”

While many of my friends claim to be against abortion, quite a few want to make an exception for abortion if the health of the mother is at risk.

I have news for you – the health of the mother is always at stake in any pregnancy. Pregnancy puts some pretty incredible physical and emotional stresses on a woman’s body – not to mention that this child she will love so dearly will possibly break her heart later. Yet my mom did courageously what so many others do every day – she took the risk.

Women are life-givers and nurturers. They fulfill a precious function in our world that by all rights should be highly valued and exalted. The idea that a man would use a drugged/drunken woman for his own purposes should cause any real man to be furious with rage. Women are the life-givers and nurturers and worthy of any real man’s  protection.

Women and Sex – Providers or Precious?

Now don’t get me wrong – I do understand the guys at TMZ thinking about the delights available from a woman sexually. But is the sexuality of a woman something to be consumed?

Or is there something greater about sexuality than just taking what you want because it feels good to you?

Is a man given (generally) superior physical strength in order to get what he wants from those who are weaker than he is?

That would be a fearful world to live in, the world of the “men” of TMZ.

The idea has been advanced, usually by those with a naturalistic (evolutionary) view of the world, that sex is just a basic physical/emotional need, much like eating or sleeping.

And so the advice goes that it is natural to meet those needs while dating, much like you would go grab a burger if you were hungry.

Unfortunately for the naturalist, the old fashion ideas of the past have been proven to be true – sex is far more than just a physical event with little significance. It is in truth a spiritual and sacred gift. It has an obvious purpose, one that goes far beyond either the making of children or fulfilling some base want.

The research into the chemical/brain interactions during sexuality tell us that during these precious times of intimacy between a man and a woman that chemicals flood the brain that cause bonding, commitment, and feelings of intense enjoyment with that person – indeed the chemicals cause us to be addicted to one another. Click here to read more about the amazing relational benefits of sex in the right context.

That is, as researchers have noted, when sex is experienced in the right ways and at the right time.

For those who have multiple partners outside of the bonds of marriage – confusion and divided loyalties result. In fact harmful addictions to the act of sex itself can occur, and the person becomes something of a sexual predator.

So the question really is – do you as a man respect women as precious people who deserve tender loving care and protection? Or do you see them as a sexual receptacle to be manipulated for your purposes? Are you a man, or an selfish abuser? 

Ladies, what standards do you have for the men you date? Do not sell yourself short. You are valuable beyond any price – you are deserving of the protection of any man worthy of taking you out.

Every woman is precious, made in the image of her Holy Creator. She is not a thing to be drugged, abused, or used while in a drunken stupor.

It’s great to be a man. We get to enjoy the company of the ladies in our life. But we also have a responsibility – we are protectors, not predators.

Old Fashioned – Good Idea

I recall hearing an older man talking about growing up in a small town. He related that if he were walking downtown and ran into a female classmate from school and they walked together, everyone expected that he would walk on the curb side of the street. This was protective, in case a car splashed water or jumped the curb – so that the “man” (even if he were a teenager) would be in the best position to protect the lady – even if they only knew each other casually.

I also remember in High School my ROTC instructor reading (for days of class time on end) from Mrs. Vanderbilt’s Rules of Etiquette. I was very impressed by the respectful deference that was expected in the older days. For example, she explained that if you were walking on a rainy day and saw a woman approaching a puddle of water, you were expected to take off your coat and lay it across the puddle so that her shoes would stay as dry as possible!

We’ve come a long way down a bad street since then! The very notion that the staff of TMZ would actually laugh at the idea of a man preying on his date instead of protecting her is morally reprehensible.

There are some things that should never be laughed at.

A man abusing a woman is one of them.

Do you see an acceptance of date rape in the people you hang around with? Do you think this is not something that should be laughed at?

 

 

 

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