The book Jane Eyre has as a central theme a scary mystery. Once the leading character, Jane, meets a man (Rochester) who finally seems to truly care for her – she finds that there is some darkly mysterious and dreadful serious problem which he is hiding in his house. She perceives there is someone there besides her who is involved with this man. And this someone seems terrifying. Continue reading Too Physical Too Soon? The Dangers of Sex in Dating
Do you want to avoid the pitfalls of dating? The key to great relationships is not a matter of luck. Do this course – by podcast or reading and learn:
What is the surprising meaning of love? And can you do love?
How do you know who the right person is?
What is the surprisingly simple way to safely use a condom?
Should you think twice before kissing your date? Much less going further?
What are the amazing benefits of sex in a relationship? But what precautions must you take before taking the plunge?
What is the key language you need to learn to effectively love someone? It may surprise you!
Get this and more – just click on the links below to learn how to get started on a lifelong relationship now…
- Setting Dating Goals
- What is Love?
- How to Love Someone
- What Happens During Sex
- Safe Sex
- Meet the Right Person (Pt. 1)
- Meet the Right Person (Pt. 2)
- The Guy’s Role in Dating
- The Girl’s Role in Dating
- How to Date Smartly
In Part 1 of this discussion we saw that the idea of finding the one certainly works well for Hollywood movies and romance novels – but it is based on a fantasy view of life. It also tends to be based on a selfish motive – obviously a poor way to get into a long-term love relationship. Couples who buy into this idea and get together based upon the emotions and strong feelings of the moment tend to end up disillusioned – those romantically glorious breathless moments are just that; moments. They will not last. Those indescribable internal stirrings are insufficient to sustain a long-term love relationship. Continue reading Is He or She the One? Part 2
The idea of finding the one is all around us. It seems to be somewhat more strongly held by the ladies, but so many men and women have bought into this idea of the one.
The one is the belief that somewhere out there there is this special person with whom you will be happy. This person is so aptly suited to you that they will meet all your needs and ensure your future happiness.
This idea is just one of the many reasons why so may relationships end disastrously today. Continue reading Is He or She The One? Part 1
Sexual compatibility is nearly an unchallenged concept. It sort of makes sense – sex is a big part of our lives. Before we get too serious about someone, shouldn’t we make sure we are sexually compatible? What if we were to get married and only then find out that things are kind of dull or awkward in the sack?
What is Sexual Compatibility?
Sexual compatibility is an interesting notion.It is much like the idea of the right-person. If you meet the right person the relationship will just magically work out. See this link to find out what is wrong with the right person concept, and this link to see how to truly find a person you can have a good relationship with.
Sexual Compatibility is the idea that if you are meant to be with someone, then the sex will pretty much be awesome from the very first time. Where did this idea come from? Certainly not from reality!
The media of our culture has handed us the concept that good sex is a product that we shop for. You test someone out and they are either good at sex with you or not. In other words, a guy might meet a gal whom he finds very attractive and sweet. They have long talks and enjoy each other’s company immensely. But of course, although she seems really great – the question lingers in his mind; are they sexually compatible. So he pushes her on a date in a private location, and this sweet young gal is just kind of unspectacular in the back seat. She doesn’t seem to enjoy the experience, and is hesitant to engage him again on a future date. Game over. Continue reading Sexual Compatibility – Take a Test Drive? Part I
There is a wonderful article on the We Are That Family website titled Raising Daughters in a World That Devalues Them: 7 Things we Must Tell Them. It is an outstanding treatise on the extremely damaging environment in which young ladies are growing up in today.
I did take issue with one point though – although if you read the article very carefully this truth is hinted at.
If we tell a young lady “You don’t need a guy…” we find ourselves on rocky theological soil and may be giving her advice that she cannot actually live with. As a former evolution-believing atheist who is now a Bible-believing Christian – one of the primary evidences for belief in God is the high degree of design in the world. In no area is the screaming necessity of intelligent design more obvious than in the relationship between men and women. Continue reading You Don’t Need a Guy? Not So Fast…
Relationship skills are critically needed – good relationships don’t just happen magically. I’ve known a lot of people who were successful by the world’s standards – good jobs, lots of money, and high social status. It has been amazing how many of these folks are miserable because their primary love relationship was faltering or had failed.
But consider this; my youngest daughter recently received her drivers permit. To do so, she had to study the drivers manual for our state and learn the rules of the road, highway signs, regulations, and emergency procedures. Then she took numerous practice tests online. I took her to the DMV for an eye test and a comprehensive knowledge test.
Now, if she wants to get a license and drive by herself, she must get at least 50 hours of training behind the wheel or complete an approved driver’s education course. Driving a car isn’t that complex – but it has serious consequences when done wrong; thus training is required. Continue reading Relationship Skills – Learn Them
Pornography is now commonplace. It has become surprisingly accepted in our society. The question is, is it a harmless distraction as its proponents claim, or is there a reason to be concerned about the impact of pornography?
Recently a 13 year old girl fell to her death in London. Her young boyfriend, having seen some pretty wild sex on the internet, pressured her to perform what he had seen and secretly filmed her. When she found out about the video, she begged him to delete the video, threatening to jump out of a window if he did not. She slipped as she demonstratively leaned out the window and did fall to her death. 13 years old and pressured to perform something from internet pornography? ( See full story here )
The relational impact of porn is not restricted to the dating years. In working with married couples in trouble I have heard of more than one instance in which the husband was so overstimulated by the wild images of sex on the internet that he could no longer get excited enough around a real person to actually have sex with his wife!
Obviously, pornography has a seriously bad impact on relationships. Continue reading The Relational Impact of Porn
At what age should I date? If you are young and want to date, your answer would probably be “at my age!” But to be absolutely honest with you, your answer will likely change once you get past age 20 or so and you learn a little more about the opposite sex and the nature of relationships than you do now.
I was talking with a beautiful young married couple recently. The husband talked about how his parents, while not expressly forbidding dating when he was a teenager, did not encourage them to date at all. The wife’s parents, on the other hand, encouraged her to date even when she was relatively young.
Looking back on her experience, with what the wife understands now about maturity and sexuality, her comment was, “What in the world were my parents thinking?”
Did she object at the time to being encouraged to date while young? Of course not! It looks fun, it provides a sense of romantic adventure and besides, a lot of her friends were doing it.
Does she object now? Yes, based on the knowledge of what is true about male/female relationships, and about the process of maturity. Continue reading At What Age Should I Date?
The Beatles sang “All You Need is Love.” The Captain and Tennille proclaimed “Love Will Keep us Together.” The J. Geils Band declared that “Love Stinks.” (You may have to research these bands of my youth, I suppose they are oldies now!)
It’s an interesting cycle, repeated every day the walls of my younger Facebook friends. One of them will suddenly declare themselves in a relationship. As the excitement grows, the words grow poetically dramatic. “I’m so in love! You are my everything, I can’t wait to see you again! It is agony to be without you.”
At some point, especially for lovers in their teens, the confused and angry posts begin, and the status changes to “single.”
Is love this fleeting? The subject of so many songs, books, and movies – can it just escape us in such a short time?
Of course, if you’ve been hanging with this blog for a while, you already know the problem. The problem, especially in our culture in America, is confusion over the feeling that is called love.
It happens like this. We meet someone at school, a coffee shop, or at work – and there is this sudden attraction. We find ourselves drawn to them, and as we begin to talk with them, the excitement and enchantment with this person grows. It’s kind of a “whoosh” sensation in your heart, it just seems to happen to you, as if fate had drawn you together. We are definitely interested in them, and they seem to be interested in us. Our thoughts start to dwell on them, we start fantasizing about spending more time with them – could this be the one for me? There just seems to be a natural and exciting chemistry between you; surely this relationship was just meant to be. This has got to be love! Yes, I have fallen in love! Continue reading All You Need Is Love? What Is Love?