Have you ever been in the middle of a big group of people and felt all alone? Probably all of us have. Loneliness is not necessarily a matter of having someone around us – even happily married people sometimes drift apart emotionally and wind up sharing a bed together, yet feel desperately alone.
Looking for happiness or a clean slate for this year? To do that, we present our suggested personal goals that will challenge you to grow to achieve the health and success you desire. This year, you can become the person you really want to be.
Here are some of my goals for this year to help me grow this year.
1. Don’t set expectations for others.
Expectations of the people around you and idolization of celebrities and role models is a sure way to disappoint yourself. Everyone is human and might not be on the path you’ve laid out for them. They have their own path. Don’t build obstacles for them.
Pete and Annie were best friends all through school. Annie thought Pete was the greatest thing. Pete thought Annie was great too, but he didn’t think she was the image of who he was supposed to be with. So they always stayed just friends, helping each other through middle school and high school, problems with friends, classmates, and love interests. Pete grew a little jealous as he started to see others find her positive qualities, and flirted and paid more attention to her. Annie flirted and led other guys on, loving the way she could tell Pete was interested, but Pete still wavered, bouncing from girl to girl, always coming back to Annie in between new flings with random girls. Annie was on a roller coaster, excited in possibilities but hurt in the shadow of a new girl. Pete, wounded by a new rejection or liberated from the chains from the latest ended relationship, went to Annie seeking support or in excitement. After years, finally Annie, exhausted by the constant ups and downs, had his full attention, with no other girls on the radar. They grew closer and were about to start dating, when, unfortunately, a new girl came on the scene. Pete dropped Annie faster than he ever had before, and Annie finally saw Pete for who he truly was. He was a guy seeking validation from others, not a true and deep relationship. He based his self worth on the girl he had on his arm, not the care and support that relationships can offer. This hardened Annie’s heart. She gave up on Pete and looked down on him for his continuous choices, thinking she was better than he. She closed up, refusing to have any feelings positive feelings towards him at all, even as a friend. She gave up on Pete, thinking there was no good in him, only selfishness. Continue reading “We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve.”→
Relationship skills are critically needed – good relationships don’t just happen magically. I’ve known a lot of people who were successful by the world’s standards – good jobs, lots of money, and high social status. It has been amazing how many of these folks are miserable because their primary love relationship was faltering or had failed.
But consider this; my youngest daughter recently received her drivers permit. To do so, she had to study the drivers manual for our state and learn the rules of the road, highway signs, regulations, and emergency procedures. Then she took numerous practice tests online. I took her to the DMV for an eye test and a comprehensive knowledge test.
Now, if she wants to get a license and drive by herself, she must get at least 50 hours of training behind the wheel or complete an approved driver’s education course. Driving a car isn’t that complex – but it has serious consequences when done wrong; thus training is required. Continue reading Relationship Skills – Learn Them→
The romantic man – idolized in the film genre known as chick flicks.
I have a confession to make – I am a man and I watch chick flicks. Please don’t tell my manly guy friends.
Here’s the deal. I have a wonderful wife whom I just adore. I also have 3 daughters that I also love and they enjoy watching romantic movies. Over the years I have come to appreciate the film genre known as “chick flicks.”
As a romantically minded man who is involved in helping relationships thrive I watch these movies; but not just for the enjoyment of the film itself. I analyze them. As one definition describes this type of film, they mainly “deal with love and romance and are primarily targeted to a female audience.” That is exactly why I watch them; they have been a huge money maker for movie producers because they appeal strongly to something in the heart of the typical lady. So as I watch these romantic plots unfold, I try to discern exactly what it is about the romantic man in the stories that women find so appealing. As my wife and daughter sit beside me with dreamy tear-filled eyes, I am taking notes.